Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The 35 year Old and a Temper Tantrum

I love coffee. I'm not over the edge obsessed with it. I stop (on most days) with my one mug of a dreamy home brewed concoction: 1 cup coffee and 2/3 cup chocolate almond milk, in the morning. But when I get to that last sip, the one where I know my mug will be empty until I refill it in the morning, I hold back the sigh that so eagerly tries to push its way out. For I know that I must set a good example for my five year old twins. No whining, no pouting, no stomping your feet. Though on the inside I am having just about the biggest fit you can imagine. But what kind of role model would I be if I let it all out? Can you invision a 35 year old throwing her vacuum sealed coffee mug to the ground in protest of its emptiness? What would the children think? It would be bad. It would be very, very, bad. Fortunately for them (and I suppose for me) I have pretty good self-control.

It's one of the many things I am good at. Self-control, analyzing the behavior of others, parenting, having a strong opinion, putting my matter of fact thoughts on paper. Yes, I am good at all of these things. However, being the modest person I am, telling you I'm good at those things makes me feel as though I am bragging. I feel like I need to tell you all the things I am not good just to be fair. There is a pretty hefty listing some of which are: creative writing (I always wish I could write about far away places populated with magical creatures, but alas I cannot), keeping my house as organized as my mom always could, getting up early in the morning for the daybreak run that I know would make me feel awesome, singing, planning vacations. When I meet people who can do any one of those things I am in awe. I suppose we can only try to cultivate our strengths and grow from our shortfalls, I can't expect to be able to do everything perfectly, or even well.

Accepting that I can't do it all (it's probably better than none of us try), I will do the best I can and share it with you (I probably should add 'over-share' to my list of shortfalls and strengths- that could be in the eye of the beholder I suppose.) Hopefully I will be near a writing device when a moment of clarity strikes and I want to share. (Doesn't clarity usually strike when you are driving and can't write it down?) One day my thoughts on parenting, the next day a critical analysis of my latest read. Who knows that might come to me and my over friendly mind (it could be something really good!) After I've cultivated the strengths, I will do my best to keep my house orderly, be happy if I get up early once in a while for a peaceful morning run, sing along with the music anyway, and be thankful my husband plans our vacations. And of course, I will enjoy that steamy cup of coffee with a smile, looking forward to doing it all over again tomorrow.

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